I got a text earlier today and at first glance I thought it was some sort of event flyer sent to the wrong number. But quickly I realized it was an obituary .jpg sent to from Brenda, my childhood girlfriend.
Her father died.
I remember the last time we spoke and she told me he was ill. She told me he was fighting some sort of cancer and it didn’t look good for him. We also spoke about the complexities of family and shared some intimate insights to how things were going with ourselves at the time.
I’m proud of her. She said that she had made a pact with her family to not over indulge in things like alcohol as a result of what’s currently happening. That’s big. It’s so easy to drink away the pain, you know… Get a little numb so that reality’s bite is a little less painful.
I tired not to dominate the conversation when it veered into our thoughts and feelings about what’s going on in the world today. I was pleased and surprised to hear her say things that let me know that she hasn’t drank the Kool-aid. You’d be surprised to know how many people I know actually have.
Ironically, her and I had made plans to meet up at some point this year. Maybe it’ll still happen.
Sometimes I think about the fact that there are people I knew closely in my past that I will never see again in this lifetime for one reason or another. It’s fascinating to think of the impermanence of life.
Speaking of which, there was a point in our conversation when I told her I’m not afraid to die, nor do I cling to life. It seems that being afraid of death is a huge part of the human condition for the most part.
I spoke to her about a conversation about life that I had with my mother, something I plan to share here in a future post.
Life is bizarre, isn’t it? You never truly know anything, if you’re aware enough to know you don’t.